red star words

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👇🏿 ain’t got no time for that? press play for the radical radio recording ✨


red star help is born out of an idea that we all need ‘safe words’ in life.

you know, like in 50 shades of grey where they use safe words in love making… though like fifty times a million times more life saving. or, if that reference doesn’t stick: like when you’re a kid and you use ‘code words’ to alert your pals because you’re up to something and the adults are coming ‘round.

you know, safe-code-words.

my dad, ritchie, doesn’t get the words “i need help” out. when i am at my lowest, thinking about my own suicide, i can’t get the words “i need help” out. i know what it’s like to be there, in that dark, suicidal place: the ability to get any words that resemble “i’m thinking of taking my life” out can be a gargantuan feat.

one day, an idea springs to my mind: how about a safe-code-word that communicates to others the need for immediate help. that immediate help may sound like ~

“help, i’m in danger, i’m thinking of taking my own life.”
“help, life is too hard. i can’t go on.”
“help, i can’t do this anymore.”
“help, it hurts.”

that code word may sound like ~ rafiki, umami, jughead, pinus strobus. the idea sticks.

the first safe-code-word i create, i do so with my brother.

i pitch the idea, knowing how i’ve been affected, knowing that i can’t get my own “help me” out, knowing that our dad doesn’t get his own clear “help me” out. it’s not long after i pitch my idea that me and brother decide on our code word: red star.

red star words are code words meant to be created with those you call your ‘inner circle’, those heartbeats who mean all the galaxies to you, the hearts who make yours go bump-bump. create your red star word with someone you trust, one person’ll do. reach out to them and create your own code word; share this post with them if the words are all jammed up in your throat. say that maybe, you’d like to have a code word for the two of you. decide on that code word, then memorize the shit outta it; put it in their contact name on your phone, too! and for bonus points, practice saying your code word out loud. like thirteen times in a row. it’ll help with the lump that comes up when we really need to use it.

oh, and one more thing. you might think you don’t need a code word for life. you might be right. though what if the person you’re thinking of reaching out to needs it most. would you do it for them?

i feel you. it’s hard.

i’ve been there and felt that too. my life after my dad chooses to kill himself is a fucking rocker, which is why i’m here to share and to spread the good word: the red star words. if reaching out feels uncomfortable, great! you’re on the right track. not sure about all this, great! reach out to me and let’s talk. perhaps you’ve got something to teach me and i’m all ears!

your mission, should you choose to accept it:

go on and create your red star word with that one person you trust.

i love you in your courage,

xxo ~k 🤎

☾ᐧ post script ᐧ☽

read about my own need for red star words here

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