blame and shame

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it is not a blame, shame game, it’s more an uncover and expose kind of way.

this ‘shining the light’ makes the dark visible, and our work begins. once we see something we cannot forget. it is forever noticed, visible, and out in the world.

this is the gift we give each other: exposing, befriending, and talking to the elephant in the room, so we all can show up as whole humans. whole humans are needed in the world. so we can relate with, and to, our younger orphaned child-selves and soothe their hurt, worry, and fear. so we can comfort, console, and nuzzle them in great big bear hugs. so we can vow to them repeatedly…

“i’m here. i’ve got this.”
“you’re safe, i’ve got this.”
“i’ve got this, i love you.”

so we can validate their pain and suffering, validate the actions and treatment of their parent figures, validate the pain and trauma they endured, thank them for keeping us alive, and lovingly let them know:

“i’ve got you. i am capable. we are a grown adult, a whole grown adult, living with our heart wide open. we have an arsenal of tools to navigate the wild, wondrous seas of life. i’ve got this, you can let go now.”

we can assure them, “it’s ok, your anger is ok. your anger is valid and righteous. i love you.”

i know exposing the elephant is frightful and dangerous and overwhelming. it’s also necessary. we’ve all got big ol’ dark spaces within each of us. we’ve all got dark sides of our beings that we are ashamed of.

let us then, bring these to the light, dig a little deeper, uncover the real truth of our collective hurt and pain and take a step towards it. let us turn the corner on our perspective of it, walk around the elephant and see it from another side.

you can do it. it’s ok darling, you’ve got this.

i love you much.

xxo ~k 💜

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