a heroine and her reboot

my whole body is system rebooting… my whole body is coming down from the stress-shock-trauma of the last two and a half months, while simultaneously shifting and re-organizing. i feel that. waves of particles and energy shifting, changing, slowing, and slowing into a sweet delicate heart beat with the Great Mother. coming waaayyyyy³ down, way down-down.

what is here, in all of this? the great awakening.

i am happy and content to be here in my cortes castle ~ not going “out” or reaching out to people ~ rather staying “in”, and in a place of deep reverent healing. my days so far have been taking care of small things (and big things ~ i see you) that are in my flow. making a list and walking thru it. and in doing so ~ it feels different. it feels way different. less resistance… hesitation… stalling? my observations so far are that i flow through my list now, in new ways to me ~ new and magical ways. it’s exhilarating to feel this shift and difference at such a visceral level; truly, a soul re-organizing place.

i’ve now had four days full of re-organizing my Self, and my spaces, and my things. it feels, if i were to relate it to birth, or emergence, that i’m re-organizing the outside to match the newly re-organized inside. the shifting tides within that are sending waves of coherence ~ thru my actions ~ into my physical space. and too, quiet is needed. quiet space for this delivery.

oh gosh, quiet. i hear things. i was out at linnea farm on the afternoon and that short interaction felt like a lot. i feel i’m listening without really a need, or desire, to speak. some bubbles of emotion came up ~ grief, sadness, anger ~ so i know that will be processed and digested soon, too.

and i’m tired! so dang hecking tired. so i’m in my nook relaxing. i’m in my nook relaxing with a movie. each day a new day with greater awareness. each day brings more and more opening and awareness. still my cells are buzzing. i’m noticing when i follow the “inklings” that emerge for me that all flows beautifully. this versus forcing-pushing-striving to get things done from my days to-do list.

i’m interested to see where this emerges.

…where I emerge.